I'd appreciate any feedback on these.
Pitch 1:
#PitMad #SF #A Most people view the anti-government, pro–genetic-engineering group Perfection as harmless whacktivists. But Imperial agent Lord Joma discovers that Perfection has created a system that could bring down the Emperor—a system they call the Godmaker. DUNE × JAMES BOND
Pitch 2:
DUNE meets JAMES BOND. The Emperor’s agent and brother, Lord Joma, has superhuman senses and the best training and tech. Now, facing a seemingly impossible murder and his daughter’s unique learning disability, Joma may find that these advantages aren’t enough. #PitMad #SF #A
Pitch 3:
#PitMad #SF #A The Emperor’s top physician-scientist is assassinated. His apprentice, Bekkah, must step into his shoes. Imperial agent Lord Joma must investigate. And Joma’s teenage daughter, Ennari, is forced to tag along. It’s going to be a rough week. DUNE × JAMES BOND
I think 2 is the best one. It focuses on the main character and what he has to do. The only thing I'd say about it is that it could use more detail/specifics. It reads a little generic -- you might be able to cut some of the world building to give us more about the stakes and the obstacle...what must he do? What's in his way? What if he fails?