I'd appreciate any feedback on these.
Pitch 1:
#PitMad #SF #A Most people view the anti-government, pro–genetic-engineering group Perfection as harmless whacktivists. But Imperial agent Lord Joma discovers that Perfection has created a system that could bring down the Emperor—a system they call the Godmaker. DUNE × JAMES BOND
Pitch 2:
DUNE meets JAMES BOND. The Emperor’s agent and brother, Lord Joma, has superhuman senses and the best training and tech. Now, facing a seemingly impossible murder and his daughter’s unique learning disability, Joma may find that these advantages aren’t enough. #PitMad #SF #A
Pitch 3:
#PitMad #SF #A The Emperor’s top physician-scientist is assassinated. His apprentice, Bekkah, must step into his shoes. Imperial agent Lord Joma must investigate. And Joma’s teenage daughter, Ennari, is forced to tag along. It’s going to be a rough week. DUNE × JAMES BOND
I'd include the hashtags at the end. 1 so that's a mouthful at the beginning. Maybe consider flipping it and start with the mc. What are the stakes for Joma? 2 aren't enough to do what? Other than that, this one is strong. 3 this one isn't flowing. Reads in short chunks. Could you combine some ideas and show how they connect to one another? I hope this helps! Just my thoughts. Jenn