Yes, apparently I title all my threads about my book the same... May have to go through and change them just so I know in my notifications which I'm getting notified about! LOL! (PS. Edit... I changed my titles! I got pro-active and category friendly!) Anyway...
I'm tired of not having a quick pitch when someone asks what my book is about. What I've been throwing out there is super vague and doesn't quite cover what my book is about in terms of plot and conflict. What I usually say is:
Feminist space opera about artificial intelligence, faith, identity, and found-family amidst a backdrop of space-pirates and AI-gods.
I need more. Right? Right! So, of course, while this snippet is a great little amuse bouche, it doesn't make a great appetizer. I do have a 100 word pitch that would work, but it's unwieldy, and I would rather have something a bit more along the lines of my favorite Hamlet quote: "All brevity is the soul of wit." You know? Easy to memorize and churn out as needed under pressure. Part amuse bouche, part appetizer. But for reference, here's the 100 word pitch I came up with:
Nyx can’t find a planet-killing weapon hidden on the pirate-ship Thanatos. When she discovers it’s contained in the weapons systems, she also discovers it’s an ancient, sentient, god-like AI. And her family. The AI awakens code in Nyx’s blood. Now Nyx can control the life-energy of anything her blood touches. Nyx must protect the AI from a Queen bent on using them both to conquer the known universe and a mutinous pirate who wants a prize worth a planet. If not, she’ll lose her crew, her ship, and the only family she has known, but she may sacrifice her humanity.
You can see why I need help, right? Right! Anyway! Look forward to everyone's input!!!!
Okay... With some critiques from another thread onboard, as well as the noted critiques from @C.M. Fick and @Jennifer Burrows above, here is my attempt at an Elevator Pitch.
After the death of her father during a mutiny, space-pirate Nyx Marcus discovers she is an AI/human hybrid god with the blood-borne power to control life-energy. Now she must protect a new AI family and a human crew from a Queen bent on oppressing the universe or risk sacrificing her humanity. A female-driven space opera about artificial intelligence, faith, identity, and found-family, this is a story about what happens when a single person has the power to destroy a world.
Glad you like it!
Another little note here. @Jennifer Burrows had a great critique for a self-admitted too-long-for-a-log-line but perfect-for-an-elevator-pitch in another thread that I wanted to bring over here and compile for more examples of a critique that I can use for my Elevator Pitch:
When the death of her father wakes hidden AI code in space-pirate Nyx’s blood, it attracts Erebus who claims to be her sister. The tech-infecting planet-killing AI, Erebus, leads Nyx to her origins as an AI/human hybrid. Their combined blood-borne powers draw the attention of the Queen of the Protectorate who now wants them both. But she and Erebus refuse to become tools of the Queen's oppression, and if they can't _______ the Queen, Nyx will lose what is left of her family and sacrifice all of her humanity.
I want to put a quick little note here from a different critique by @C.M. Fick that sparked something in my brain for this Elevator Pitch. Here's a too-long-for-a-log-line but perfect-for-an-elevator-pitch suggestion she made on another thread that I wanted to port over:
Space-pirate Nyx Marcus discovers she is an AI/human-hybrid god after her father's death. She learns that those who can destroy a world can control the universe and now she(delete) must determine if she is woman or machine(full stop) By risking her humanity to save her family from a Queen bent on oppressing the universe, Nyx must master control over her blood-borne power or become a tool used to oppress humanity.