I'm admittedly still a little wishy-washy on what exactly agents are looking for, but I've seen one agent who is looking for "a one sentence summary of your MS" along with the query, and another who asks for a "3-5 line pitch", so I figured it's high time I put together something so that I'm not limiting myself on agents. I'm throwing out a couple ideas, but please feel free to rip them apart, because I just need to get a baseline going. I'm definitely not convinced on some of my phraseology myself. Also, if you provide a link, I will reciprocate feedback on your queries/synopses/etc.
1) Steampunk meets space opera when the captain of a worlds-traversing airship must battle a renegade with a device that can destroy society.
2) Treasure hunter. Lock picker. Captain of a worlds-traversing airship. Lara’s got the skills to save the worlds, which is just as well, because a military renegade has plans to destroy them.
Thanks!
Also, I'm sorry that it took me so long to get to this... I've been neck-deep in edits!
What I found works the best for a logline/hook is very specific and formulaic...
(CHARACTER+CHARACTER'S GOAL/WHAT CHARACTER WANTS)
+(ANTAGONIST+ANTAGONIST'S OBSTACLE)
+STAKES
So... "An airship captain (wants what?) but a military renegade wants to destroy the universe, and if she doesn't stop him (stakes)."
Of course, this can be rephrased easily to go something like "When an airship captain (wants what because of what stakes?), a military renegade will destroy the universe." Or any stylistic variation.