Hi there,
I'm participating in #pitdark next week and am new to Twitter pitching. Any insight/advice would be greatly appreciated!
Clair’s been kidnapped.
By goblins.
She has three days to escape before the door to her world closes forever.
Clair’s determined to return home.
But, she soon discovers a tantalizing web of secrets that all seem to revolve around her.
Thank you!
-Corinne
Oh! This sounds like you could comp it with Labyrinth!
I feel like we can take a lot of what you got and smooth it out a bit. I can see the sort of intrigue you're going for, but it reads a little funny (to me). Here's my suggestion - take it or leave it, you won't hurt my feelings! :)
Clair’s been kidnapped - by goblins. She has three days to escape before the door to her world closes forever and she's determined to return home, but she soon discovers a tantalizing web of secrets that all revolve around her.
#PitDark #YA #MR #FA
There seems to be some unsaid stuff with that last line. Do these secrets make her want to stay? If so, maybe add a line like this...
...that all revolve around her. Now she has to choose: go home or stay forever.
Or something like that. (Obviously I don't know the story like you do, so it's up to you!) I hope this helps!