I'm honestly still new to the whole Twitter thing in general, but I'm trying out a few things.
1) If Lara trusted the Coalition, she’d work for them as a pilot flying the void between the worlds. She’d know what to think when they tell her a captain went rogue + killed the other pilots. But if Lara doesn’t fight with them, the captain might end the worlds.
2) Lara pilots her airship through the void between the worlds, scavenges in ancient ruins for lost artifacts, and always sticks her neck out for her tight-knit crew. Now she has to chase a military renegade through the void to prevent society’s destruction.
3) Lara Kavarin flies her ship through the void between the worlds, seeking lost treasures. Amerlaine Silver wants to unleash the horrors of the void to destroy society. Outmatched, Lara must stop her, or else the worlds will become a living nightmare.
Okay...so in this one, we're right up my alley, me having read a lot of the new SF and Sci Fantasy books that have come out in the last couple years. #1 I don't know what's going on in the book. I don't know who Lara is or what she's doing now, since you open with an If statement. Her stakes are present...if she doesn't fight the captain might end the worlds...but both sides of that equation are really general...fight...fight what? where? How? and 'destroy the worlds' can fit any one of a thousand books. Can you give it something that makes it unique to yours? #2 is better, in that we know who Lara is. And we know what she has to do. Again, it comes off as kind of generic, but at least I've got an idea of what kind of book I'm getting into. But still there's nothing that jumps out and hooks me...it's still kind of generic...it's a rogue pilot/tight crew on a manhunt in space. But how many books does that apply to? Still quite a few. So what can you give us to make it yours? Also...we've got goal and stakes...but no obstacle. We don't really get a feel for what's in her way. #3 Is probably the best one. It has the elements we need, I think. But it is still leaving me a bit flat. There's nothing in it that screams out 'I'm special.' I think what's happening is you're burning a lot of words up front which isn't leaving enough to draw an exciting picture of the conflict. I could be wrong, but that's my gut. Can we shorten the first line to: A treasure-hunting pilot? That would give us more characters for the conflict. We could get to: A treasure-seeking pirate takes a job hunting a rogue military captain through the void. I'm not 100% sure that's what your book is about, but based on your three pitches, that's what I'm piecing together. I think I've captured the set-up while leaving you some space to give us detailed conflict/obstacle/stakes.