I have a few pitches written up for my newest manuscript, and any feedback on them is welcome! I've tried Twitter pitching in the past (though not with this book) and, though I did get a like from one agent, it didn't turn into anything. These events are tough!
1. Gessa and her dad get stuck in virtual afterlife. When an anomaly traps him in cyber-hell, she busts out into the real to save him but finds her identity, skin and all, stolen. Stopping the culprit could end the afterlife, but if she doesn’t she might die for good. #pitmad #a #sf 2. Gessa’s stuck in virtual afterlife after dying for her country, but there’s a civil war brewing in the real and she won’t abide that ruckus. She snatches a body to take on the rabble. Her plans go to hell when the body fights back. Maybe she shoulda stayed dead. #pitmad #SF #A 3. Deceased martial Gessa hijacks a living body to fight the sadist that killed her, caged her dad in virtual hell, and imprisoned the country. When the body’s hostile owner wakes, the pair need to find a way to work together or Gessa could lose her father’s soul. #pitmad #SF #A
Thank you so much for the feedback! These are great points and I'll try a few versions along the lines of your suggestions.