Hey Everyone. I'm new to twitter pitching. Looking to try my hand with pitmad in June. Looking for any pointers for my pitch:
A sarcastic 16 year old discovers he is an alien hybrid with special powers when he is recruited by a mysterious government organization and must confront a ghost from his father's past attempting to change the course of history.
Sounds like an interesting story! I agree with guildlibrary's suggestion to be more specific.
Also, I suggest breaking the pitch up into more sentences. The one long sentence has so much information that it's difficult to focus on all of the interesting, individual pieces. I like that you have character, conflict, & stakes, but right now they all kind of mush together.
Here's a suggestion: Start with his age & name & a glimpse of his current situation. Then add what changes...he's recruited by a government agency & discovers he's an alien hybrid. Then finish with the conflict & stakes. He must (confront something) or (the changing history stakes)
So (and this is not accurate, its just a quick example) 16yo Fred knew that black van was bad news. Recruited by a mysterious government agency Fred discovers he's an alien hybrid. Which was cool, until secrets from his father's past threaten to destroy the world & only Fred can stop it.
Does that make sense?