Hi everyone! So happy to find this forum, especially so close to #pitdark. I would really appreciate some feedback on these pitches... brutal honesty preferred!
Thanks so much!
#1! When Galaxy kills her royal father, the experience feels bittersweet. On one hand, her lifelong torturer is dead. On the other, she doesn’t get to kill him again. Unsatisfied, she settles for killing his legacy instead.
The Milky Way is under new management. #PitDark #A #SF
#2! With help from her sociopathic girlfriend and probably the worst father figure ever, Galaxy starts an intergalactic war as revenge for her miserable life. Her goal? Anarchy, baby. But when she burns it all down, she may find nothing but regrets in the ashes. #PitDark #A #SF
#3! Galaxy incites intergalactic war as revenge for her miserable life. As the Milky Way burns, however, she discovers new friends and old consumed by the blaze. To save them, she must find a way to undo her mistakes—or at the very least, throw herself onto the fire. #PitDark #A #SF
What do you think about these revised pitches? I think I'll keep 3 the same... only because I have no idea how to fix it lol
#1! For Galaxy, killing her father feels bittersweet. On one hand, her torturer is dead. On the other, she can't kill him again. Unsatisfied, she settles for killing his legacy instead.
Alive, he ruled a galactic empire.
Now, the Milky Way is under new management. #PitDark #A #SF
#2! With help from her sociopathic girlfriend and the worst father figure ever, Galaxy starts an intergalactic war to dismantle her family's empire. Her hatred for them consumes everything, until she finds something it can't devour: a redhead with a pretty smile. #PitDark #A #SF