Hello, all. Thanks much for any feedback on the pitches below.
1.
16yo Rae receives a favor and the charge to pay it forward. Her ensuing acts of kindness lead to a possible romance, a sea of Post-it–noted gratitude, and an epic scavenger hunt around town, but will it be enough for her to forgive herself for her father’s death? #PitMad #YA #CON
2.
Reeling over her dad’s death, 16yo Rae escapes into the ’80s rock songs that soundtracked her childhood. As the “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” she’s quick to look totheatre-lover Mac to give her “Something to Believe In.” But will he turn out to be “Bad Medicine”? #PitMad #YA #CON
3.
ALL THE WAYS THE WORLD CAN END + HERE WE ARE NOW Music—’80s rock—keeps 16yo Rae’s dad alive in her heart. To assuage her guilt over his death, she gathers a merry band of theatre geeks to pull off an epic sleep out for the Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation. #PitMad #YA #CON #LGBT
You had me at 80's music!
#3 is the best! I love it! It sets the scene, gives us motive, and it mentions Bon Jovi (which is a 100% win for me).
I am not a fan of #1. It doesn't really grab my attention and it seems vague & a bit generic.
#2 is fun, but it doesn't have the same punch as #3. I'm going to play around with it a bit:
After her dad’s death, 16yo Rae escapes into the ’80s rock songs he loved. As the “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” she looks to theatre-lover Mac to give her “Something to Believe In.” But will their plan to stage a sleep-out for a charity event turn out to be “Bad Medicine”? #PitMad #YA #CON
That's just a quick suggestion.
I DEFINITELY recommend you use #3 to the full!!!
Good luck!